Exploding Towelhead Musical Funspurt

Celebrities are invited to perform various tasks live in front of a studio audience, including selecting disco hits blindfolded from a box full of acid-soaked, radioactive scorpions.

The final selections are then played at a thousand decibels to a group of twelve non-caucasian immigrants, who have all been fitted with huge beltpacks of TNT, the detonators of which are triggered by syncopated jazz-funk grooves of particular frequencies.

The audience vote for a certain song to be played louder and louder until one of the "Johnny Foreigners" explodes, splattering the audience, host and assembled Z-listers with entrails and gore...

Bruce Forsyth hosts from his jewel-encrusted commode atop a six-hundred-foot pole hovering over central London.

Warning: Contains extreme jingoism, bigotry, slack-jawed proles
and foreigner-baiting as well as extended close-ups
of gore-spattered exposure whores.

Nubbin

A walk to the off-licence (liquor store, for our colonial cousins) turns into a revealing, touching drama about the love of a man for his own shoes. On the way, he discovers the truth about his father, brother and step-sister, which gives him a deeper understanding of why his mother abandoned him at the age of twenty-five.